| |
| Faith |
| |
| I recently participated in a personal growth workshop in Pennsylvania that incorporated horses. As a facilitator in the field myself, I believe in and am always open to continue my personal growth work. As the saying goes: “Every teacher needs a teacher”. For me there are no better teachers than animals. |
| |
| During one of the activities we had to check in with each of the eleven horses to see if one would like to hang out with us and vice versa. After saying hello to the first five horses I landed in front of Faith’s stall. Faith had a rough start in life as she was found by her current owner Amy one dark night at the side of the road being beaten by a guy who was trying to get her into a horse trailer. Amy had stopped her truck and trailer and asked the guy how much he wanted for the horse. For $650 the horse became Amy’s and with that Faith’ life at a horse sanctuary began. |
| Now there I was, looking into Faith’ stall asking her if she was up for some one-on-one time with me. The day before I had experienced her as shy and reclusive, today Faith stepped forward, looked over the stall door and connected with me. She and I were clear…Faith was my horse for the day. |
| Amy reminded me of Faith’ history plus that Faith was partially blind in her right eye, due to a blow by a blunt object in her past life. |
| Becoming acutely aware of the fragile trust connection the little mare and I had, my fear started to well up. How was I going to keep this horse safe? How can I make sure that she will trust that nothing is going to hurt her? |
| I haltered her and led her out of her stall…off to the indoor arena we went. Once in the indoor we (I and four other participants) were asked to brush our horses. |
| Amy mentioned to me that Faith had never participated in this exercise before, matter of fact she had never been with this group of horses in the indoor… Wow, what an experience, though I have had horses of all kinds and am currently blessed with four…this little mare brought up all the insecurities that I had accumulated over the years. |
| There was nervous Nicole brushing nervous Faith while telling her “you are ok”. While saying those words to Faith I could feel her saying “yeah right, you are not ok, why would I be ok if you are not ok?” She sure had a point, I was absolutely incongruent, I said one thing and felt the opposite. Eventually Amy came over and asked how we were doing. I answered “not great, I am telling Faith that we are alright when truth be told I am a nervous wreck.” I explained that my fear was that Faith would explode or take off because I did not provide security for her. Amy looked at the two of us and said “Well, reality is that her body is a bit tense but that is the case even when she is in her stall. Otherwise Faith is pretty calm, her head is low, her eyes are soft, I wonder Nicole, why is your reality so different from what I see?” What a great question. My ‘made up’ reality was based on all the accidents I’ve had, the ones I have seen and the ones that I am afraid could happen at any moment. With that I was not in the here and now, and thus created a disconnect between myself and the horse in the Now. I took a deep breath and started to communicate with Faith. I put the brush in the grooming box and started to touch her. I tuned in to what she needed and followed her lead. Though Amy had suggested handling Faith from her blind side would be safer, I also realized that Faith needed to occasionally look at me with her healthy eye. So I switched back and forth between both sides. When Faith got nervous about the other horses, I gently petted her between her eyes…the place a mare licks her foal for reassurance. Before long, Faith relaxed and began to lick and chew…we were on to something. By the time we started to move into our next activity Faith and I had established a bond we both could rely on. When she got nervous I reassured her through words and gentle petting. She in return licked and chewed and took several deep breaths which let me know our trust was building. We had become partners. |
| What a gift this beautiful mare had given me. She offered me the opportunity to confront my fears and see the truth. |
| All it took was for me to be present…so we could individually have a healing experience that created a new reality for both of us. |
| |
| |
| |
| |
